Today is my birthday, and that generally brings forth a spate of thoughts and feelings, mostly unrelated. And now that I have someplace to put them, maybe you can help me figure some things out:

1. Is it weird that I can never remember how old I'm turning anymore unless I go back and calculate it from the year I was born?

2. Do you think young couples in my ward really think of me the way I thought of people in their fifties when I was a young bride?

3. Which birthday has been hardest for you so far?

For me, it was forty. Not because I felt so old, particularly, but because that was the birthday when I realized that there were people who had gone out of my life who weren't ever coming back. I think when I was in my twenties I naively believed we would just be able to keep track of everyone who had ever been important to us. Sure, people moved away, and their circumstances changed, but I think deep down I felt we'd always be friends. And maybe, deep down, we are. But at forty I recognized that I was never going to see some of those people again, at least, not in this life. It was sort of depressing.

Now, in my early fifties, I'm happier to take each year as it comes, to love the people it brings, even if I know they may stay only for a short time, and to recognize what a great gift it is to be alive!